I know I haven't updated in a while so don't faint now that it's here. I just do not even know where to begin. I feel like I have so much going on and I'm not sure how or what to say about it. In so many aspects of my life I am so happy and others just suck. Lets focus on the sucky ones first that way we can finish on a positive note. :) I feel like I live in two different worlds that just can't come together and it's really starting to wear on me. I refuse to give either one up (not that anyone has asked me to) but it's hard trying to balance both. I guess I don't try to balance that great but it's hard being somewhere sometimes when you feel like your the cause of someones sadness and stress. I understand people needs to "grieve" in their own way but I know that they are "grieving" because of a choice I made. Granted I would make that same choice again and again and I don't regret it for a second but it's still hard knowing that I caused people pain. Sometimes I almost wonder if it would be better to just remove myself from the situation for a while until people get their bearings straight again. I feel like the way I live my life now is a constant reminder that he isn't around. Ok done with this crap because I'm getting over it. I guess only time will tell what happens. ATTN Readers: Some of you may like me less after reading this next part but then stop reading, it's my blog, I write what I want....Like I said, a lot of the time I am really happy. This is all due to one certain person and you know who you are (and no it's not laurie or sarah, although love the fist pumpers). I know people don't approve of us being together and don't like you and it's not that I don't value their opinions it's just that I can't give you up. I know all of your past hmm shall we call them escapades? and I don't care. It doesn't change how I feel about you at all. and the thing is, I know you won't hurt me. Some can call me naive but I'm not. Even in the end if they are right ( and they aren't but lets just say like a for instance) you have still brought me so much. You make me happy every single day and your the one I call when I need to vent or cry your the one I want to be with when I'm lonely, and even when I'm not. I know it seems fast to everyone but we know how we feel. Your my best friend and I trust you with everything. I know you've had a busy week and I'm proud of you for everything that you have and will accomplish. We have big dreams so lets make them work.
So lets on a positive note because I'm going to take on a positive attitude from now on..... "my dad called me an idiot and said I was stupid" haha just kidding dad, thought you may get a kick out of that one
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